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Debt Relief – Insolvency – Bankruptcy Information » Mortgage Refinancing » If your husband, on your first married Valentine’s Day together, buys you a gift online ON VDay, is that okay?

If your husband, on your first married Valentine’s Day together, buys you a gift online ON VDay, is that okay?

We have been married for 6 months. He has screwed up a Valentine’s gift in the past, and knows that I had high hopes for romance for this one. So he went out ON VALENTINE’S DAY to “find me something”, and ended up buying me some perfume online, and printing out a photo of it to put in a card.

I thought it was sweet until he showed me the receipt today, and I saw that it was ordered halfway through the day on V-Day. Now I feel like an afterthought, and it really makes me feel like he doesn’t care that much. I am not flipping out on him or anything, I just told him I thought that was kinda crappy, and left it at that. He seems pissed that I am bothered by it.

I don’t plan on taking it any further than having simply expressed my displeasure once. (I am not planning to harp about it, or stay mad, etc.) I am just wondering if I have a right to feel like an afterthought. Was this crappy of him, or not?

Correction- he decided at the last minute NOT to “go out” and get me a gift, he decided just to buy it online instead. So no, he wasn’t out cheating. And he is typically very romantic.
He buys me really thoughtful gifts, typically.
It’s not about the material things, it’s about the thought. That’s why I am upset, because obviously this was a last minute thing, so not much thought went into it.


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5 Responses to "If your husband, on your first married Valentine’s Day together, buys you a gift online ON VDay, is that okay?"

  1. januckey says:
    Yup. That was pretty crappy. He had a lot more time to do a lot better. It’s no reason to start drama, just note that it was a lazy shit*y thing to do.
  2. Alyssa says:
    Well you married him knowing that he wasn’t a romantic type of guy… you shouldn’t expect him to change. But I do agree that it was crappy and I’d b pissed too.
  3. KELLSTIR says:
    huuummm … he screwed up a valentine’s gift in the past, then WENT OUT on your first married valentine’s day to ‘find you something’ and ended up buying you perfume on line (that takes all of 30 seconds) … unfortunately you were an after thought … I’d be more curious about where he was ON valentine’s day while he was ‘out trying to find you something’ –if he was out surely he passed lots of stores that sell perfume, but he didn’t buy it while he was out, he came back home and purchased it on line … honey, he was “out” spending a good portion of valentine’s day with someone else …don’t be a fool
    wait, I totally missed this, “He seems pissed that I am bothered by it.” he spent most of valentine’s day without you and is pissed at you for being bothered about that, ha!
    you seem quite confused, first you say “he went out ON VALENTINE’S DAY to “find me something”, then you say “he decided NOT to go out” … that’s two VERY different things a logical person would be clear about … if he didn’t go out and just bought something on line but spent the day with you then get over it
  4. Silver says:
    Here. Let me end your suspense. Yes. This was crappy of him. He should have at least put some thought into your first valentines day together.

    Should you feel like an afterthought? Well….that depends.

    Is this how he treats you for all holidays? What about your birthday? Christmas? Does he do other romantic things for you throughout the year?

    If this is just a Valentines Day “thing” for him, then try to cut him some slack. See, guys, as a rule, don’t like Valentine’s Day. We don’t like being forced to “be romantic” on one specific day every year, just because the greeting card industry tells us we should. We’d prefer to set our own schedule for romance and when YOU GIRLS try to make us feel bad for screwing up Valentine’s Day, that makes us hate the damn “holiday” even more.

    (See the vicious circle starting here?????)

    However, if his M.O. is ALWAYS to run out “the day of” and pick something up for you, then my guess is that he’s a self-absorbed prick that has little time for anyone other than himself. The fact that you got him to show up for your wedding day is likely a minor miracle.


    Long winded way of saying, hey, if this isn’t a pattern that’s repeated on other holidays, consider cutting your guy some slack. Otherwise, consider whether or not you want to continue with someone that narcissisticly self-absorbed….

  5. Tia says:
    I don’t know why people make such a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. It’s an commercialized, over-hyped day that is designed to make guys feel guilted into buying something for their partners, and if they don’t then the women feel like “they don’t care about me”. It’s a day of guilt. It has lost its true meaning. It’s not about what you’re going to receive on Valentine’s Day. Some guys don’t really buy into the day, and obviously your husband is one of them. It would be better to be made to feel special every other day, not just on a day dictated by all the shopping centres and florists.

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