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Managing family and stress?

For the past two years my parents have jumped on my case about everything, from grades to guys. Last year the only class I wasn’t doing well in was German and British Literature in the first semester and Pre-Cal the second semester. Every single day my parents would call me and harp on me about studying, going to see my teacher, getting help from other students. Which that would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that I was all ready doing all of that and they kept calling while I was trying to do homework. And when I told them I was doing homework they kept harping on me about studying.
At the time I didn’t have a very stable romantic relationship ’cause I wasn’t over a very ugly previous break up. I started dating men in their mid-20′s (I was 18 at the time) because they gave less crap than guys my age. My brother found out and lectured me about how I was no where near as mature as the men I was dating (I’ve always been the more mature one between my brother and I) and how it wasn’t morally right. Also, my ex from the ugly break-up found out and told me I shouldn’t be dating older men, blah blah blah. Needless to say I had several break downs last year.

During the summer, I put in a job application at every place in town that was hiring and some that weren’t. Only two places called me for an interview and I didn’t get either job. My dad kept telling me that I wasn’t doing something right in my interview, that I must be doing something wrong. And he would get mad when I told him that they said they weren’t going to hire me for the 2 months of vacation I had before going off to college. Eventually, I started taking valerian root to help relax until it started giving me headaches. The one good thing that came out of the summer was my current boyfriend whom I love.

My boyfriend wanted to fly me to Seattle to spend a weekend with him (he’s in the navy). My parents wanted me going no where near him even though they’d never met him or spoke to him. I went to go see him.
Trouble with my parents and brother started up again in October when my boyfriend was here on leave. We drove down to visit my parents for a couple of days. The next time I spoke to my parents, my mom said that my hun had potential and she couldn’t really make a judgment call since she didn’t speak to him that much. My brother gave me the whole “It’s not right for a 27 year old man and a 19 year old girl to be together.” Which is funny ’cause he never had a problem with my great aunt who was 10 years older than her husband.

My hun and I discussed me moving in with him and transferring colleges. I found a college with a better psychology program (the rules were if I couldn’t find a better college then I would stay at my current one) so I’m going to put in an application for transferring. The college I’m going to go to is also cheaper than my current one.
I told my parents and they freaked out. They started going on about how much money it’ll cost, how I’ll have to do this and that and this. My hun and I had discussed everything that will have to be done for me to go live with him and transfer. My parents didn’t want to hear about that, they’re convinced that I don’t know anything.

So now, I’m going to spend Christmas break with my love. We’ve been planning it since the summer. There’s only one hiccup in our plan, since he transferred commands and was screwed over on advance pay, he doesn’t have the apartment yet (he’s only been at his new command since mid-November). My dad called me the other day convince it takes $30 to fill up my gas tank and that it’ll cost $600 for me to drive to see my hun and come back here. He’s also convince that my hun and I haven’t thought anything through and that we do things as soon as we think of something. My dad told me I need to go see a psychologist ’cause I’m on a self destructive path and he just doesn’t know why. He also said my hun was lying to me about why he doesn’t have an apartment yet. Needless to say my dad and I got into a tiff about it since he just won’t listen.

The more I do to better myself, the more my family brings me down. I’m finally going to get out of this state, I’m finally with a man who loves and respects me and wants all of me not just my body. I’m going to transfer to a college with a program that will help me realize my career choice. The only thing not right in my life right now is my family. So needless to say I’ve been on one big stress current for the past two years or so.

How do I manage my stress without removing my family from my life? My parents have always been important to me and until recently I’ve never had any problems with them. How do I make them see that they’re just tearing me down and I can’t and won’t put up with it anymore?
Sorry it’s so long.


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One Response to "Managing family and stress?"

  1. Alexis says:
    ( I’ve read Longer and far less concise)
    You need to tell your parents how they have been making you feel and while you love and respect them you are not a child. That you are going to live your life, make your own decisions, and pay the consequences if need be.

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